What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s a common question posed to youth. The earliest answers are things like, “A puppy!” or “A bird!” or dinosaur.

Children get a little older and switch to “A firefighter!” or a race car driver, or baseball player. Eventually, as they learn about prestige and money, they say “I want to be a doctor!” or a lawyer or whatever their parents are, or whatever they are encouraged toward. In loftier moments they think they’ll become a professional football player or a famous actor, or they skip the ‘how’ altogether and say “I’m gonna be a millionaire!”

Then life becomes real. We take on the vast plethora of vocations in the world. Some follow a career path. Others a passion. Some get placed in a family business. Sometimes it’s just blind faith or random circumstances that lead to a path that becomes our life’s vocation.

My work career was led largely by blind faith. The place where I work now, and have for more than twenty-three years was offered at a tumultuous time in my life, when I really needed a purpose. I am one of the fortunate people whose work ultimately serves others. I love that my abilities and skills are used to help others.

It is because I love working for a cause that I’ve stayed for so long, and it’s been a mostly satisfying run. But the ultimate outcome of doing for others hasn’t provided financial stability for retirement. And I don’t have a trust fund or a pension or a second income.

So here I am, at a time when I should be thinking about retirement, the bucket list, and gearing down. But instead it feels more like thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. I want to gear down, I am the age of retirement. But finances say that I’m not quite there. So I’m thinking:

• Should I just stay put another five years or so? Grin and bear it?
• Should I cut back my work hours and figure out ways to earn income doing other things that I enjoy?
• Should I find contract or temp work that is more task oriented than mission driven?

How do I shift gears, take on less responsibility and earn income doing things I enjoy more? I think I’d really enjoy working in a garden center, or as an usher at a concert venue. Or help stage homes for sale.

Or I could get serious about writing. I am a writer. I write every day. I enjoy it immensely. Should I spend more time working on getting published? Take some writing classes? Write stories? Put together query letters? Submit to some competitions?

What to be when I grow up. It’s a hard question, fueled by a desire to enjoy life more. If I don’t figure it out soon, I may run out of time. That’s what I think.